It’s important for your children’s growth and development to have supportive relationships with adults other than you. At the same time, you need to be mindful of who is spending time with your children since most child sexual abuse is committed by people families know and trust.

You may be thinking “How do I know who to trust?” There is no easy answer. But it might help to pay attention to a person’s behavior rather than what you think about the person’s character (e.g., she’s so nice) or your relationship to the person (e.g., he’s family, he’d never hurt our child).

Pay particular attention when an adult or older youth:

• Seems overly interested in, and creates opportunities to be alone with, your child.
• Displays favoritism towards one child in your family or a group of children.
• Gives special privileges or gifts to your child (e.g., money, trips, special favors).
• Befriends your family and shows more interest in a relationship with your child than with you.
• Plays with your child in a way that makes you uncomfortable.
• Seems “too good to be true” (e.g., babysitting for free, taking your child on special outings alone).
• Minimizes any concerns you raise about how he/she is interacting with your child.
• Creates opportunities to be around your child outside the context of their role as teacher, coach, etc.

While these behaviors do not necessarily indicate a person is grooming your child or family, they could be considered inappropriate.

Concerns About Your Children's Behavior

Click here if you have concerns about your children's behavior (i.e., is it "typical" or potentially abusive). 

Helpful Resource:

• STEP UP: Protect Children from Sexual Abuse, published by the Vermont Department for Children and Families.