Research indicates that most victims of child sexual abuse never tell (disclose) about abuse during childhood. There are many reasons children may delay telling or never tell. They might, for example:

• Be afraid of not being believed or of being judged.
   
• Be ashamed, embarrassed about, or feel responsible for the abuse.
   
• Have been threatened by the abuser—with violence against themselves, their family, friends, or pets.
   
• Not want to lose any perceived benefits (e.g., gifts, affection, love, acceptance, or status).
   
• Not know who they can tell.
   
• Be afraid of what will happen if they tell (e.g., the family will break up, a parent will go to jail).
   
• Not recognize they have been abused. This is especially true for young children and those with disabilities.

A child’s decision whether to tell does not rest solely with the child, it also depends on the behavior of the protective adults in a child’s life.You can increase the likelihood your children would tell by:

• Having open and honest communication with them— about healthy sexual development and personal safety.
   
• Making sure they have the words they need to describe situations that make them feel mixed up or uncomfortable.
   
• Letting them know children are never responsible for abuse.

It’s important to understand that even with your best efforts, your child may still not be able to tell.

Recognizing Disclosure

It is important to know how children disclose as it is not always obvious and can be easy to miss. Click here for information about how to recognize a disclosure.

Paying Attention to Your Child's Behavior

Click here for a list of behaviors that may indicate sexual abuse.

Responding to Disclosure

Click here for tips about how to respond to a child's disclosure about sexual abuse.

Helpful Resource:

• STEP UP: Protect Children from Sexual Abuse, published by the Vermont Department for Children and Families.